Healing

When it rains, and you are in the water or looking into the ocean/sea, there's low visibility. I guess in a way, water is related to healing, to cleanse. As the rain pours, it also doesn't let you see far out, the reason may be because it wants you to focus on where you are at the moment instead of squinting your eyes trying to see what's ahead. When you heal, you must focus on you, entirely you, then you can start looking out.

Go

Have you ever gotten to that point where you wonder what love truly is?
Is it when people do things for us that we don’t ask for?
Or is it when they do exactly as we tell them?
Is it those that follow our orders?
Or is it those that don’t hear what we vocally say, but know what we’re saying inside and do that instead?
and so we feel like those people get us, that’s why we love them?
Have you ever wondered truly what love is?
I know this may sound to many as a high school girl writing, but no.
What I mean is, when you are twenty something years old already and you see your friend’s life
and the way they chose to live life,
you see their relationships, their marriages, their newborn kids,
you see their fights, their infidelity, their pain, their backstabbing,
the hatred that could be inside a relationship,
and wonder, what keeps these two people together?
what is it that we consider love that makes us stay with one person?
Some don’t believe in monogamy, but putting that aside,
what is love?
what makes us open to other people,
whether it be in friendships or romantic relationships?
Cause in the end everyone lets us down at one point, whether they mean it or not
But isn’t that just someone not meeting our expectations?
There’s a friend that said she couldn’t do the long distance,
but for another friend of hers she can do long distance
should that hurt me? No. Maybe. But no.
I feel that we are all flawed, and like the words from Bob Marley:
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
I have been an asshole before, forgetful, not knowing the value of some friendships,
and that’s why I let things go more at ease now, because I’ve been in the perpetrator’s shoes.
I’ve been the one that has hurt others, many times without meaning to, I was too inexperienced and lacked to know the value of things.
But now I value any “love” I am given.
For every human being gives love differently.
It may sound complicated or even cliche, like “no one is going to love like you do”,
yes, that’s true, but isn’t that the beauty of it?
To value how each of us love?
After all, what is love?
is it the things that we do for one another?
is it our actions?
is it our feelings alone?
Is it words?
Is it this click, that happens inside of us, where we know if we love that person or not?
or is that infatuation?
In the end, what is love for you? How would you describe love?

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

Miss you

I miss you
I miss you mom.
I miss you so much.
It aches.
I ache.
I've been crying all night, missing you
Your gentle touch on my face
Your tight hugs when I would have panic attacks
You would move your hand up and down my back,
telling me "it's ok...it's ok"
rocking me back and forth between your warm arms,
loving me.
I miss you mom,
I miss you so much,
I want to hug you, and kiss your cheeks and forehead,
and tell you face to face how important you are,
how beautiful you are.
I love you mom,
I am so thankful to have had you physically in my life,
to have had your "caricias"
your warmth, your sweet words
your pure love.
I wish I could have just one more of your hugs
I want to crawl back into your arms
and put my head on your chest, hearing your calming breaths
I hear that you are alive by the beat your heart makes.
Mom,
I miss you.
I wish I could take back all those teenager years and
instead of going out with friends, I'd stay home with you
I wish I would have treasured every moment you gave me like it was oxygen.
Only one hug, one hug of yours and everything will be alright.
I am rocking back and forth on my bed,
hugging oh so tightly the doll you gave me.
Mom,
I miss you.
I wish you were here, and we could take our daily walks together.
I miss sitting next to you in the couch while watching our shows.
I miss cutting your hair,
I always adored how you let me try different styles on you.
Mom, you are truly my best friend.
There is no one that will love me how you love me.
I admire you, you are truly a star in my eyes.
You are and will always be my angel.
Mom,
I love you,
thank you for showing me what love is.
But overall,
I miss you ma, I miss you.

Warning Sign - Coldplay

Prosperous

Velvet,
red,
purple,
burgundy
green,
all the colors that look good on you. 
I want to buy you a burgundy dress and a gold necklace to go with it. 
Thank you. 
For being my friend, 
my sister.
I never thought we would get this close, 
I never thought I would be able to meet someone that has a heart like mine.
You are beautiful darling,and you know it.
You make me laugh so much, 
we make each other laugh so much.
I love you.
Being selfish, I don't think I ever want to stop being your friend, 
because who else would make me laugh like you do?
We crack each other up, 
and laughing, oh it's so expensive nowadays
You don't find that anywhere, 
someone or something that can make you genuinely laugh.
Thank you for believing in me, 
you do that so well, believe in me. 
I sometimes don't believe in myself as much as you do,
the plans I tell you, the things I have in mind, 
you take them as if they're set in stone, 
and you will see me accomplish them. 
It's so fulfilling and energetic to find someone like that.
If you who is reading this haven't found someone like that,
please do, it's lovely. 
If you have people in your life, even family members, 
that make you feel strange, weird, out of place, 
like you are crazy or "paranoid" as so many people have told me, 
get out of there, unfriend them, 
forget them, let them be, 
they'll find other people to say those things to, 
but it doesn't have to be you. 
Believe me, the universe has a way of finding what's best for you,
but you first have to start eliminating the obvious negative things.
I have stopped talking to many people that were no good for me, 
I realized that their comments weren't constructive, 
they didn't build me up, but brought me down,
made me feel not good enough, like I'll never accomplish the things that I wanted. 
They themselves weren't even pursuing things,
No hopes, no dreams. 
I felt alone perhaps for some time being, 
but not really,
I learned to love myself, 
and as I did, I started to notice those that did as well.
What I thought I had lost,
I had actually gained and more.
I gained a great sister, and friend, 
You my Indian princess. 
Thank you for being who you are,
for being your vicious self when I've needed it,
for being brutally honest, 
but for also being gentle and caring. 
I am writing this in a way to thank you, 
but to also have as a bookmark, 
one that we will go back to. 
In the end my beautiful reader, 
remember that even family sometimes have to go. 
But no worries, 
God will provide you maybe not with blood family, 
but something even stronger and purer, 
a pick of friends who become family. 
Always remember quality over quantity.

You are not alone. 

Pop Music | Smooth Jazz Saxophone | Jazz Instrumental Music  

Snow

Have you ever heard the silence while it snows?

Have you seen the magic that flourishes down from the sky to the ground?

I have. 

The experience is beautiful. 

Some enjoy the snow, others don't. 

Point is, the world is one and it will always be seen through your eyes alone

There is no one else that can tell you what you see, only you.

There's beauty in everything I always say, 

you just have to look for it, but it's there, I can assure you.

There's something about snow that captives me.

It takes a hold of me like no other natural force.

The way it floats down, effortlessly yet conquering. 

There is something about the way we heal, 

just as snow, it seems that it has come effortlessly,

but there's been many work behind the scenes. 

Snow is a combination of the weather, it's pain to grow cold 

and let it snow down.

When you heal, it's a combination of things, 

it wasn't just one decision that you took, and there you go.

It's everything working together to get you there. 

Healing yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself and the world.

The world is a better place with you in the process of healing.

It's beautiful when you look into someone's eyes, and there's no:

fear, resentment, bitterness, 

but, it's all but love and peace.

Isn't beautiful when you meet someone and 

you feel that they are looking at you, 

not their past experiences, 

not judging based on someone that's related to you, 

but they're paying attention to You, 

and their judgement is based on everything that You do alone. 

It's liberating to know that someone is healed enough to do that. 

To be able to love, like they've never been hurt. 

It feels like snow is flowing over you, 

enveloping you, no matter your past, 

Heal yourself my child, 

it's a beautiful messy process, but worth it. 

You are the beauty that this world needs. 

Whole

Do you know what it is to wake up and be happy?
To open your eyes, while you are stretching in your bed and
having a real smile on your face. 
To have tears drop down your cheeks out of happiness,
to be so thankful because you have never felt this whole before.
The funny thing is that your life at moment in "human" eyes,
is turned upside down. Years back you would have be in depression, but now,
you trust Him. 
There is such peace inside you,
you can't fully describe it, you must feel it to understand. 
I woke up this morning, with a smile in my face. 
Rested and in peace. 
Crying out of happiness, 
because the thing that I had been looking for, 
for so many years I had finally found
and realized it had been looking for me all these years too,
waiting patiently until I trusted Him. 
I finally love myself completely, 
I feel whole,
complete.
I had never felt this way. 
It's like there's nothing else that I need. 
I am in love with myself in such a magical way, 
He makes me feel so beautiful and whole. 
Yes, I keep saying whole, 
because that's exactly how it feels. 
Like I am glass and I am full, up to the top filled with love.
But like a waterfall, I let it drop all around my surroundings,
yet I never go empty. 
There's a fire inside my heart, that warms my being.
Funny how it all happened. 
It wasn't until I decided to follow Him, to listen to Him,
and say: "OK, you take over, I'll do what You want, it's not what I want, you know best."
Simple thinking would say how I won't be happy since I am doing what someone else wants, 
but in reality, He showed me what truly made me happy. 
All along he had been wanting to show me what makes me whole, 
smile, 
happy. 
Best decision I've made is to focus on Him.

Have you known true happiness? 
Be honest, have you ever felt "complete"? 

Espiritu Santo- Redimi2 feat. Barak
No hay lugar mas alto- Miel San Marcos feat. Christine D'clario