Stoop

I wish I could tell you why I disappeared from your life,
I wish I could tell you that even though we don’t talk every day, or even every several months
I still see things and think “Oh, she would love that”
I still remember that day you told me in my stoop:
“everyone always leaves, they end up walking away from my life”
and I promised to never leave you.
You may feel as if though I have left you,
because I am no longer a constant person in your life,
but I have never left you.
I am here,
if you ever needed me, I am there in a heartbeat.
I couldn’t breathe and be next to you while
you were with another.
It was too painful.
Only hearing your voice would awaken this love inside of me,
that has never really mellowed down.
I hear your name, or something you would like and I am there again,
as if we just met, and the rushing of all my feelings come thru my veins.

I heard your voice this morning,
I played one of your songs, and it took me elsewhere
I was laying in my couch, with this calming energy going through my body
it was as if I had put a record on,
because the sound of it was so magical and ancient
it felt as if I blew dust off it and it created this other universe where
you and I lived as one.