Samurai

I was impacted by you at first sight,
just like a samurai sword,
you came out of nowhere, silently without notice, you were inside of me.
A Katana you were
cutting through all my senses
physically, emotionally and mentally.
Thought it was romantic to be bleeding for you,
to be dedicated to you,
to have enough discipline to learn how you work.
It takes practice to master something,
and I thought with time I would learn all your curvatures,
I would learn how to hold you,
how to treat you,
how to handle you,
how to make us work,
but I was wrong.
You had cut through me the first time you walked into my life,
what would make me think that you would be able to fix the damage you did?
What would make me think that you could turn into a first aid kit
and soak up this bleeding heart you had left?
You are a Katana, and maybe I thought if you rested inside of the hole you had dug,
maybe just maybe the bleeding would stop,
But you’re a tease.
Without the want or commitment of staying inside to stop the bleeding.
Digging in deep, moving the blade side to side, taking it out, and repeat
This needs to end, my body is strong, but not that strong.
I need to patch this hole you’ve made and left unattended
I love you,
but have to love myself first.
Maybe one day when you’re ready,
you come back and look for me,
but I won’t hold you to it.
I need to move on with my life,
need someone that will love me and not be afraid to do so,
someone that sees my worth,
that I am valuable
And not just someone you can tease and never really fulfill.
Katana, single-edged blade
that’s who you are
you walk through life cutting those that love you without hurting yourself,
using the blade for others, leaving you unharmed.
I hope one day you will put that blade down and let someone love you.
I hope next time you recognize what true love looks like,
and I hope you’re brave enough to drop everything and embrace it.
Love you dearly my love,
wish you the best.

Etta James - I'd Rather Go Blind