Humans have put price on their own

Trapped and have no one to trust or turn to
that's how you felt

day by day being used as a plastic doll for pleasures
of evil senseless people
you were lost
literally didn't know where you were
mentally and emotionally; you tried blocking everything out

you knew now that this was hell
no one looking at you directly

looking at your breasts, face

turning you around to look at

your ass and legs
and nodding if they liked what they saw

The life you had before is gone and you can never go back to it

it's as if you were taken from that world and put into another

you were beaten,  both for pleasure and discipline
your life consisted of being a hole where scrupulous people

dived their  heartless demons into you
you were trapped in hell, never thought of getting out

tried to escape once; never again

you thought you knew pain
you thought you knew evil
you thought hell didn't exist on earth
you realized you were wrong.
I don't know how to tell you that you can trust me
for life has told you otherwise; trust no one.

I don't know how to tell you that I have a vague idea of happened to you

for all you want to do is forget,

 and I wouldn't dare bring it up so you can relieve it once again
I don't know how to tell you that I think you are beautiful

without maybe triggering a memory you rather not remember
But what I can tell you is that
I admire you
you were able to do something that I thought no one could do

and that's bring me back to life

You alone, a survivor of the most horrible pain anyone could endure

have thought me that life is worth saving

especially if you will live to save others

I was afraid to do what I was born to
Afraid of the consequences,

afraid that I won't have the guts to stand up to these nightmares
that prey on young, ignorant, rebellious, hopeless beings
But I have you to thank for
for giving me life, when I thought there was none
for giving me courage when I lacked

and for giving me hope that one person out of a hundred, is one person less
What I am trying to say is,

Thank you for being alive. 

tatatatatata hey!

I miss the park
I miss the sounds of the water hitting the rocks
I miss the sunsets we would watch
I miss the walks from the train to the park
actually, to the pier
but most of all the assurance i had in it all
the pictures we took in the bench on pride day
how lovely you were dressed 
with that white bandeau bra and jean shorts
the kiss up against the wall you gave me
I keep going to those days underneath the sky
where life was green and beautiful under our eyes
where we laid our bodies and thoughts on my neon-indian blanket
I miss your companionship
your warmth at night
or simply when you saw my mind troubled 
and your hand would clasp mine, as if taking me away from it all 
you were so sweet to me, all the time
trusted me with every thought you had
you spoke, and spoke like there was no tomorrow
I loved that, your thoughts were my tunes
re-sounding all day in my head
I know history repeats itself all the time,
but when it comes to one life; individually, things don't happen the same twice
meaning, we will not happen again
but I rest knowing that one day you will find
that someone to whom your thoughts are their tunes
and they'll stay not wanting ever to change the song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I of monsters and men- little talks

thump it goes

Heart pounding in my ears
thump, thump, thump it goes
it won't stop
cigarette in my hand
i am not sure of many things
but i am sure that i am suppose to be living
i am sure that i am suppose to keep going
day by day
that's how the thing goes
you must grow some thick skin to survive
but most of all, 
you must grow a thick skin
to love
and that's why i choose you
I "choose" you 
it's not a matter of feelings, 
or emotions that guide one
it's about choice