Open heart

I am now leaving NYC
Yesterday, I had to decide for the third time
If I wanted to do this or not.
To live
To not run away
leaving people knowing nothing
of my whereabouts
My lord you always come to my rescue
I left a note on your door saying
Sorry and goodbye
I expected you to email me,
Or text me
Nothing...
Instead you wrote "let me live"
On your instagram.
It hurt me, to see that
You have moved on,
But truly happy because
You are over me.
Yesterday, I had to decide for the third time
I don't just want to live
I want to live being my best
Tired of me,
Of me always bringing myself down
Tired of being such a coward
Tired of it man.
If I don't do this, no one else will.
I will always love you,
Love who I was with you,
Love us,
But I need to move on.
I need to do the "impossible"
Good-bye my dearest friend.
All good things I keep from you,
Hope you do the same.
All great things beloved,
All great things to you.
Thank you for all the good seeds
You planted on me,
I can only hope I did the same.