Happy Thanksgiving love!

Be thankful for you, for you are fabulous.

Usted, afarig mia

Pink skies
I see your pink cheeks
Highways
I see your dark hair
Light
I see your eyes
Laugh of children
I see your heart
Trees
I see your strong legs
Chairs
I see your stand-up straight posture
Everything I do and see
has your signature somewhere
visible or hidden
It is there.
When I am feeling down,
I think of your smile
how your eyes would look away
then come back to me
Thank you for that smile

Brett Dennen- Don't forget -

Porque la vida si es facil, mujer!

If life was easy,
It would mean you are not important.
Many of us say,
"why can't I be left alone?"
Life doesn't work that way though
If your life is easy with no troubles
I must say, (sorry if I offend) but why are you here?
The only reason we have troubles in the first place,
is because we mean something.
The bigger your purpose is,
the bigger the challenge.
It doesn't get simpler than that.
When you see that your life is harder than those around you,
It just means you have a greater mountain to climb,
a greater triumph than others.
Life is not easy, and it won't ever get easy.
That's a fact.
One thing that keeps me going though,
is that there are still things in this world
that are completely one hundred unique
and that's You
and your experiences with this world.
We may all go through hardships,
but that only means that we have one thing in common
We are all important.
We all have something we must leave planted on this earth.
Our lives touch thousands, if not more.
The troubles and confusions, and hardships that we go through,
are all just a process of planting the seed that we will leave behind.
A seed can't simply flourish on thoughts, but it takes labor.
It needs land, which will be earth, our lives.
It needs rain and water, which will be our tears, our pain.
It needs the sun, which will be our warmth, our love to one another.
It needs dirt, which will be our mistakes, our mess-ups,
and it also needs time to grow,
which will be our lifetime here on earth.
As long as we are still alive,
We have the power to make the seed either a
Yew tree; strong yet flexible, able to bend far before breaking
Or a
Balsa tree; grows quickly but its torn away by any strong breeze.
To walk life you must have endurance and patience.
Endure the storms that come, and be patient, don't get angry or upset,
for they won't last forever.
Don't ask for easy, it won't come
Instead, ask for strength.
Calle 13- latinoamericana
Brett Dennen- All we have

Lamparita magica, tus acciones cortan

With my head on my pillow
lights off
in pure darkness I like to find myself
the only lights coming in
are the street lamps
Shining through my vertical blinds on the left side of my bed
and the only light shining inside the room
is my computer.
I look up to the ceiling
while having Coldplay in the background
thoughts come and go
but this repeating thought keeps coming to mind
well, two really
but I will mention one.
I need to be writing the story I had started
I showed four people and they ask me when they see me...
"Have you written? I want to know how the story keeps going"
I can tell they're honest, they do want to know
I just can't, the story was written when I was someone else
I've tried. I sit on my desk, read to see where I left off
but I cannot connect with it
I feel as if I would be stealing another writers story
(does that make sense?)
Thing is, I wasn't going to write anything tonight or even for a while,
for it came to memory this one episode
where I wrote something once,
poured my heart and tears on it
and saw how it was burnt by another
I felt I was a flag and they were burning me
protesting for their hurt.
(which in all, they had the right to do so)
Also, I knew I would ramble on tonight, feelings are not organized
they are all over the place
and it won't be anything worth reading
but what's worthy anyway? no one is, nothing is
its one of those quiet nights where
"I've never heard silence this loud"
having a pen in my mouth
instead of my hand
my pen literally speaking for me,
my vocals do none the talking.
Anyway, I love you.
Goodnight.

"Shit, do actions have consequences. Now get over yourself." -SWM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHAdbn2e_QQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player 

Un paso

Its all but one step
one step to triumph
one step to failure
you can be at the top of the mountain
conquering all
yet it all takes one step
one step to decide whether you want to fall
all it takes, one step
let's say you stopped going to clubs
for the reason that you always ended up
sleeping with someone at the end of the night
and when you woke up
you felt even worse then you already were
(it takes one step)
you go to the bar now
only getting drinks with friends
then going home
you think, I am good, I didn't go home with anyone
didn't need to fill the urge
but it only takes one step,
when you start getting comfortable again
from where you got out
you'll sink back down again.
You got to be honest to yourself
when you start hearing that voice
inside your head saying;
maybe you should stop, this is all too familiar.
You should listen, and do.
In the end, its all but you that will take care of you
no other person will do what you need to do for yourself
take a step toward change,
and stick with it
because just as you took a step forward,
you can take a step back.
Don't move forward, unless if you want to stick with it this time
otherwise, you'll end up even lower then before, the fall will be greater.
Good thing though,
It only takes one step.
One step.

I was, am, will always be there for you

I've seen you
I still see you, child
I had you once inside my palms
the wrinkles inside my hand covered your newly
soft small body
I was the first one there when you took your first breath
You were covered in blood
My chest inhaled, eyebrows went up in astonishment
a smile was brought upon my face
as I heard your first cry of many
I removed the birth stains with clean towels
left you taintless, new
I held you, rocked you
yet you still hadn't opened your eyes up to me
It wasn't till you realized that I wasn't going anywhere
that I saw your big blue eyes
I saw you look at me for the first time
and it warmth my heart
It jumped out of joy
at the knowing that after all this time
you decided to open up to me.
When you looked at me,
you realized I had been there,
had always been there.
Since birth I held you in my hands
saw the first time you were able to stand on earth
and also saw how those small feet
that later turned into independent ones
walked away from me.
My child,
I've seen you,
and I still see you.
Let me hold you,
and trust that what I say I mean
I never left you
It was you who turned around
who left me in the rocking chair
holding the essence of you
I've never lied to you,
You are beautiful, my child
but don't keep walking away from me
when you haven't opened up your eyes to me just yet
when your eyes haven't met mine.
Don't keep walking away from me
Let me see those beautiful eyes
let me hold you in my palms once again
Let me...

Speak, its a wonderful thing.

I was silent for so long
so many years I didn't tell a soul
of what was really going on inside me
A few knew the surface of it
but what was really inside me
the depth of it all,
was hidden.
My parents and friends thought I was this perfect child.
This beautiful honorable person,
yet I didn't feel that way at all.
I felt like a hypocrite,
as if I was pretending to be who I was.
Didn't feel real, didn't feel loved
I knew the answer to my problem,
and anyone who came for advice,
I would let them know who the answer was.
Yet I never took my own advice.
I was silent about everything stirring up inside me
Confusions and tiredness overwhelmed me,
I wasn't able to sleep profoundly,
I slept but it wasn't enough.
I was silent for so long,
that when I felt that I should speak I didn't know how.
Didn't know what to say
Did I need to ask for help?
Or was I suppose to just say
"I've been silent for so long, I don't know how not to be silent."
How was I going to say; "I forgot how to speak..."
How to speak about what was going on inside me.
Problem was, I knew I couldn't continue on with the "not knowing how to speak" excuse.
That's when I realized,
I noticed that I had damaged myself.
I had turned a healthy person into a disabled one.
I saw what I had done to myself, and I cried.
For I had hurt "me".
I spent so long questioning everything,
Numbing myself,
Looking for answers inside me, inside the problem
That I wasn't able to look outside of me
Wasn't able to look up, and say "help me".
So much time did I lose being silent...
All I can say now is,
Don't repeat my mistake, dear friend
Speak, its a wonderful thing.

Take a shower, its good for ya

Just as we take a shower to take the dirt off our bodies
We should also take a "mental" shower.
Clean our mind and heart
of things that are simply, dirt.
Would you walk into a work meeting with mud on your face?
No, (depending on which job you have of course) its not acceptable.
So, why should it be acceptable to have your life,
You, not clean?
Our lives inside are just (and more) important than our outside.
I know its easier to attend to the things people will see.
"Why fix something that others don't see?"
"Why open the Pandora box?"
My answer is: Why not?
The unforeseen troubles that might come out
of the Pandora box, might just be
Your solution.

You are important enough to attend to yourself.
You are important enough to reach down inside you,
and fix that sink that's been leaking for a while now.
That problem that you keep leaving for "next time",
saying: "meh, I'll do it later"
yet never get to it.
Go grab that wrench, put those plumber pants on
And fix that leak.

Open yourself to the solution.
Don't be afraid.

These tears...

My tears are no longer
tears of pain and hunger,
hunger for love and answers.
My tears no longer
hide behind the shower curtain
where not even myself was able to
see nor feel them.
My tears are no longer cactus spines
tearing my flesh open as they ran down my body,
leaving salty wet trails behind.
My tears no longer make my body ache
leaving it sore, barely able to walk.
My tears are no longer a burden,
they don't weigh down on me.
My tears are no longer painful
They are not sad and
They don't take pity on themselves.
They no longer hurt,
For they have found a real love
that has set them
Free.

If only we were this smart

Fix the problem before
it leaves permanent damage.

Admire you

Beautiful are you,
teeth that are not perfect
yet you have a perfect smile.
When you smile,
your whole mouth shines bright.
Your hair is gorgeous
shaved on one side,
and long-medium messy on the other.
Brown eyes that look sad,
puppy eyes
that melt and sadden me
creating this feeling of wanting
to hold you.
Your gestures and postures 
are of someone who is humble
and lost in the world
not lost in the sense that there's no path
or finish line
lost in the sense that your thoughts
are nothing like the rest of ours.
When you look at someone 
you see the deepest thought in them
you see who they truly are
not who they let you see
and that's why I admire you.
You are not like all the other girls
you don't want to be, nor try to.
You are not feminine, that's a fact.
You stick with your case and
don't mind who is with you
or not with you.
I also see that you are trying to love yourself,
trying to do better this time around
and for that I think I am starting to fall for you.
You are courageous, 
and even though in the past 
you've made mistakes,
hurt others and 
left out the back door,
I know your intentions all along were to not hurt a soul. 
I also know that when you saw 
all the hurt you had caused, 
your heart broke,
and not in two pieces, or three.
It broke completely.
As you walked, gravely
each piece fell
with every step 
leaving you empty
every time you tried to move forward.
I saw all this,
and now see this;
little by little
you are reconstructing your very own heart.
It takes courage to love yourself again,
after hurting so many souls, including your own.
It takes courage to forgive yourself and say:
"I am gluing my heart back together."
I admire you,
admire you,
dear reflection of mine. 

"What's the point of life?" this guy Job asked

I've been like this guy, Job, for some time now. 
Depressed as some may say. 
Not fighting or arguing anymore, 
don't have strength for that kind of stuff. 
I've just been living as an aimlessly leaf fallen of a tree. 
Tonight I asked myself, what's the point of life. 
(Not suicidal, thank God. I am over that)
I mean really? I know; live, love, experience, all that good stuff. 
But, that's not it. At least that's not all. 
We ask ourselves this question many times in our lifetime: 
"What's the point of life?"
But I don't think we'll ever get the right answer
if we pretend that we know it
or try to hide our pain or questions
or even be defensive about what's happening
inside us.

I know that many will notice

what I have below is a chapter off the bible

and will not even glance at it, or 

perhaps you will

then leave it.

Thing is, this Job guy,

we are very much alike

He is a character that i can relate to

and just because he is in a book

that many people cross out immediately 

doesn't mean I have to judge him

because of the book he is in. 

I understand why many cross off the bible,

but this is not about that.

It's just me relating to this guy;

his pain and anger. 

After reading what he said, I felt close to someone

but also, that we all most go through 

dark tunnels in life,

some brought upon by life itself,

people before us, and us getting the consequences

or sometimes we ourselves

However it is that we got to these empty dark tunnels,

It sounds cheesy, but I believe with all of me

that there will be "light" at the end of the tunnel. 

There will be. There is.

and I won't stop walking.

Hopefully it helps someone other than me. 

Job 3

The Message (MSG)

Job Cries Out

What’s the Point of Life?

3 ^1-2 Then Job broke the silence. He spoke up and cursed his fate:

^3-10 “Obliterate the day I was born.
    Blank out the night I was conceived!
Let it be a black hole in space.
    May God above forget it ever happened.
    Erase it from the books!
May the day of my birth be buried in deep darkness,
    shrouded by the fog,
    swallowed by the night.
And the night of my conception—the devil take it!
    Rip the date off the calendar,
    delete it from the almanac.
Oh, turn that night into pure nothingness—
    no sounds of pleasure from that night, ever!
May those who are good at cursing curse that day.
    Unleash the sea beast, Leviathan, on it.
May its morning stars turn to black cinders,
    waiting for a daylight that never comes,
    never once seeing the first light of dawn.
And why? Because it released me from my mother’s womb
    into a life with so much trouble.

^11-19 “Why didn’t I die at birth,
    my first breath out of the womb my last?
Why were there arms to rock me,
    and breasts for me to drink from?
I could be resting in peace right now,
    asleep forever, feeling no pain,
In the company of kings and statesmen
    in their royal ruins,
Or with princes resplendent
    in their gold and silver tombs.
Why wasn’t I stillborn and buried
    with all the babies who never saw light,
Where the wicked no longer trouble anyone
    and bone-weary people get a long-deserved rest?
Prisoners sleep undisturbed,
    never again to wake up to the bark of the guards.
The small and the great are equals in that place,
    and slaves are free from their masters.

^20-23 “Why does God bother giving light to the miserable,
    why bother keeping bitter people alive,
Those who want in the worst way to die, and can’t,
    who can’t imagine anything better than death,
Who count the day of their death and burial
    the happiest day of their life?
What’s the point of life when it doesn’t make sense,
    when God blocks all the roads to meaning?

^24-26 “Instead of bread I get groans for my supper,
    then leave the table and vomit my anguish.
The worst of my fears has come true,
    what I’ve dreaded most has happened.
My repose is shattered, my peace destroyed.
    No rest for me, ever—death has invaded life.”